Oh life

I haven't posted in awhile. I've been posting daily on another site called " oh life". I really like it because it brings me back to the days when I used to journal regularly. For years I wrote my thoughts in these small books. All my thoughts, dreams, and daily activities. I for some reason stopped when I got married except when I traveled. I even started journals for my kids but again I write very irregularly.

Oh Life sends me an email every night at 8pm. All I have to do is reply with whatever I want and hit send. It goes to an online journal which I can download at anytime. It's gotten me back into recording my daily activities. The silly mundane things that we often forget as time goes by.

I still like this blog because this is a place where I can write down more thought provoking thoughts versus the day to day life events which is what I am using Oh Life for.

Regardless of how I write I hope to continue writing so that I can leave something for my children to read when I am gone. Writing is a window into the soul. We don't always know what is happening inside the minds of others but through writing we get a glimpse.

Today's world versus yesterdays

As I have gotten older I have become a news junkie. I read the news and I find that the more I read the news the more disheartened I get with the way the world is going. I also find it to be full of gloom and doom stories. Everyday I read about someone killing someone else or killing groups of people. Police officers getting killed in the line of duty, or innocent children at school. I often wonder if the world my children are growing up in is going to be worse off than the one I grew up in. My childhood was fun and carefree. I used to play outside, ride my bike around the neighborhood, play in my backyard, walk to school. I wasn't worried about crazy people hurting me or kidnapping me. Today I would not let my children their bikes around the neighborhood for hours on end or play in the neighborhood down the street. Has the world gotten more stressful? I am perplexed as to why there is so much more violence. Do we blame video games, violent movies? lack of parent involvement children's lives?

What I'd really like to read in the news are stories of inspiration, triumphs of the human spirit, people doing good deeds in their communities, people helping strangers or random act of kindness. We should focus on the positives of our world and not all the negatives. I truly believe negatives bring on more negatives and positives bring about more positives. By focusing on the negatives we are giving power to the violence. We are maybe even encouraging people to replicate or go above what others have done that is heinous. Do we really want to bring attention to the people who cause harm? Let's focus on those that do good.

Just random thoughts on a Monday afternoon....

Election Day

Well this year's November election was pretty exciting in our household. My husband got to vote for himself as well as the president of the United States on the same ballot. Our journey into the unknown territory of politics was definitely a learning adventure for us. We often felt like we were always behind rather than ahead. Luckily we had a local council member mentoring my husband which was huge. My husband did what he felt was possible to run his campaign on a limited budget. He attended candidate forums, posted lawn signs, walked the neighborhoods and attended political events where he could network. I have a lot more respect for people who run for office now as it takes a lot of time,energy and funds.

We attended an election night party at local restaurant where other candidates and elected officials would be at. It made the suspense of waiting for the results a little more bearable. I was so excited for my husband at the thought of him winning but I also knew if he lost he would be crushed. When the preliminary numbers came in my husband was in the lead. He only needed one seat of the two available. His lead was far enough that we felt pretty secure in his win.

My job is now done as campaign manager, treasurer and volunteer. I now get to return to my regularly scheduled programming while he gets to begin his job of attending board meetings and hopefully making a difference in the field of education. Good luck hubby I wish you the best!

9/11

It's been eleven years since terrorists took 4 airplanes and used them as weapons to destroy the lives of many. Every year I think I'm a little more healed emotionally but I find that every year I still find myself crying because it all comes back to me like it was yesterday.

I didn't know anyone personally who was killed that day, but as a flight attendant who works for one of the airlines that was hijacked I can relate to the flight attendants. I wasn't flying that day but I was awoken by a good friend who was hysterical. She was concerned for my well being because she knew I flew and she knew I could of been on one of those flights. I could of but luckily I wasn't. I was startled by her hysteria as she kept saying turn on your t.v. planes are crashing into the world trade center. I went to my television in disbelief at what I was seeing. It was surreal. Really? this is happening? it was like a bad movie. How could this really be happening? I ran to my computer to pull up the names of the flight crews but they were already purged from the system. The phone continued to ring all day. Family & friends all concerned for me. Wondering if I was on one of those planes.

Those flight attendants went to work. It was like any other day in the life of a flight attendant. We go to work, we jump on planes, we fly 7 miles above the earth, we leave our families, we jet around the country, stay in hotels and eventually come home. That day they went to work, got on a plane and became part of a weapon of mass destruction. I cannot fathom what happened on those planes during those final moments. I don't even want to. I know that those crews in my eyes are heroes. People think of the firefighters and policemen on 9/11 but often don't think of the flight crews. The crews who were relaying information about what was happening onboard their planes to the ground people. The crews who helped cause an air stop of all aircraft because of the information they relayed. The crews & passengers who caused the United plane to go down in a field instead of at it's intended target.

Air travel has never been the same nor has the job of being a flight attendant. We look at passengers differently. We are more aware of our surroundings. We don't put up with much attitude from passengers. 9/11 is forever in our minds. We will NEVER FORGET nor do we want to.

Politics

A new journey has begun in my life. My husband decided he wants to run for our school district's governing board. It's a four year position which he has to be elected into office for. I"m excited that he wants to do this because he hasn't been able to get a job as a principal so I feel this would be a great avenue for him to get more educational experience and I think he would find fulfillment in doing. He has a great background in education having been a teacher for the past 15 years. He has a passion for education and he knows what is currently going on in the educational system. In my mind he is the perfect candidate for the job. He just has to beat one incumbent to get the seat.

Now for the journey part. We are diving into unknown waters. We are running a campaign. We are raising funds, getting endorsements, creating websites, donation options and now getting involved with the Republican party. Luckily we have a city councilmen helping us every step of the way. We went to our first meeting tonight where my husband was officially endorsed by the Republican Party. It's all very exciting but also opening our eyes to this whole new world of politics. Our lives will never be the same because I know my husband will now become active in the party and it will become a part of our lives. I"m a Democratic who leans close to the Republican side but I"m not ready to give up my voter status. Luckily he is running for a non-partisan position so I don't have to pledge my allegiance to the Republicans just yet. I know this is just the beginning of journey as I see him pursuing higher levels of educational political offices in the years to come. I support him 100% but only time will tell where our journey will lead us. First things first... winning in November.

Given Notice

I had a co-worker die this week from colon cancer. She was diagnosed at almost 48 and died 18 months later. She fought the most valiant fight. She never asked "why me?". She never wallowed in her circumstance. She accepted her fate even as she fought hard to prolong the inevitable. She shared with us on Facebook her journey and she re-iterated how thankful she was that she was given "notice" of her death. It gave her time to write letters to her only child. Letters for his birthdays, graduations, wedding, life moments that she will not be here to experience with him. It gave her time to say her goodbyes and to go on a lot of vacations. She got a lot of life in in a very short amount of time.

I think I'd personally rather be given notice too. We are never really prepared to die but I'd hate to wake up one day and die before the day was over. I would not have time to do the things my co-worker was able to do. So I try daily to live my life to the fullest. I check off my bucket list and I tell my love ones all the time that I love them just in case it's the last time. If my death is sudden I want them to know how I feel and know that they were loved. I want them to know I lived a full life and I made the most of my days. What about you?

15 years ago today

It's been 15 years today since I lost my friend Tara to breast cancer. She was 31 when she died. She was 26 when she was diagnosed. She fought a hard 5 year battle but ultimately lost. I was in my twenty's when she died. I had experienced the death of my grandmother earlier that year but no one else had yet to depart my world. I have a lot of regrets in regards to my time with Tara. My first regret was that I never really thought she was going to die. I mean I knew she had cancer but for some reason her telling me she had spots   in different areas( lungs, brain etc) didn't register that she was already pretty along in her fight. I called her regularly and I tried to see her fairly often. I don't know if I was encouraging to her or discouraging to her. Sometimes I think I said the wrong things. Maybe I didn't listen enough. Maybe I talked too much. I remember giving her a book "When bad things happen to good people" along with an Angels inspiration book. She liked the angel book because it was uplifting. I don't know what I was thinking giving her the other book. I remember having conversations about her cancer and comparing it to another person who told me their cancer story. Why did I even bring up this other person's story?

I often calk up my actions to thinking it was because I was young and like I said had not experienced a lot of death or cancer in my life.I wish I could chat with her one last time and say I"m sorry for any of the stupid things I said to her which probably didn't make her feel better. I would of taken lots more pictures with her. I would of been more in tune to the gravity of her situation. I would of hugged her more. There are lots of things I probably would of done different given the opportunity to interact with her again.

I can say though that her life had a great impact on me. I immediately wanted to make sure her life had meaning and had touched me in some way. She died in August and a few months later I began volunteering at the American Cancer Society. I wanted to make a difference and I wanted to pay tribute to my beautiful friend. I've been on a committee for kids who are dealing with cancer for fifteen years now and it's all because of Tara. I still miss her and I still have regrets but that life experience has forever changed me and for that I am thankful.